August 1, 2016- Ibiza, Posers, and the Party of all Parties for Two Reclusive Canucks

In the Lonely Planet guide on Mediterranean Europe that April’s sister lent her, the short entry on Ibiza states that “if poseurs give you the irrits, you should definitely give Ibiza a miss…” We expected that he/she was correct. But we went on shore with the open minds of amateur anthropologists.

Ibiza in the distance from our deck.

The view to upper decks from our deck on the ship.

Our room service breakfast on the ship was different our first morning because they gave us the wrong menu. Every other breakfast we had after that didn't have an egg white omelette and instead just had carbs and a bit of dairy.

We started in the port by blundering around to find the tourist information booth that is nearby and then trying to find the water taxi the tourist information woman spoke of as being two minutes away. We never found it, but instead backtracked to get a regular taxi into the centre of town. We relished the half ass air conditioning. It was hot as hell out. April was still feeling really dicey with stomach pains.

In the centre of town, we went to the café right by the taxi stand to eat lunch. It had been quite a while since our mediocre room service meal on board. We both ordered a club house sandwich and it was absolutely delicious (especially when compared to the “food” available on board the Costa Fascinosa). The ice cold Spanish Coca Cola was on point as we sweated out last night’s Costa “feast."

The couple that photographs meals together, stays together. This club was one of the best meals of our entire trip.                                                       

From the restaurant, we walked into the old part of town. We grew very hot and tired quickly, climbing up the well worn cobblestone streets. We stopped into a hotel near to the fort and shared an expensive but refreshing ice cream and two cold Coca Colas. Spanish Coke is amazing, especially when cold. It has fewer calories than its Canadian counterpart, which must mean that it has less sugar. We approve and wish that they would further decrease the sugar in Canadian Coca Cola. 

Climbing up to the fort is scorching afternoon heat.

There's our cruise ship is in the distance, the Costa Fascinosa.

Bill contemplates the life of a pirate or perhaps pirate fighter up in the fort.

It is super bright out and we're hot and tired and we have to go back to that ship in the distance eventually.

The cobblestones were so worn that they were basically polished leading to some dicey terrain. Fortunately we choose runners/hiking shoes not 6 inch heels (unlike some people we saw that day).

We walked back down to the centre of town and purchased a drink to take on the bus to go to the Platja d’en Bossa where Ushuaia is located, because we were seeing David Guetta, Robin Schultz, Klingande, and Kimotion.

We caught the bus (the bus driver sells tickets and gives change from his perch at the wheel) and after a 20 minute ride we arrived at the hotel (the helpful driver told us which stop to get out at).

We waited in line for the doors to open, observing the various festival attired people. We wondered if we looked like we fit in or if we were obvious visitors to an alien planet. We entered the concert, not having to be searched, because we didn’t have bags on us (we both had money belts hidden under our clothes—we both had to show ID with our ticket, but they didn’t check because I suppose they thought we were over the age of 18 (what an insult, we're only double that age!).

One of the fronts of the hotel/venue.

Festival hair.

Free hat, sun, and awesome EDM beats on Ibiza. Life is good.

Decked out in free gear that we received when we entered, Bill is ready for the EDM party of our lives.

Why not put a giant tap fountain in?

They were really generous with the hats and weird fake glasses.

We listened to Kimotion. The place was pretty empty because the event went from 5 PM to midnight. We surreptitiously ate our protein bars which we had brought with us and shared a 9 Euro (or about $15.00 Canadian) bottle of flat water (500ml). Ouch!. Through the night we refilled the bottle over and over again in the bathroom because outside food and drink were not allowed and we’re Scottish through and through.

The crowd at the beginning.

Kimotion on deck.

We listened to Klingande for a while and then went to the beach club restaurant that is attached to the concert venue. We could only eat there in order to be let back into the venue. The salads and bread were decent—especially when compared to what Costa Cruises considers a salad. The view of the beach was gorgeous.

Perfect place for dinner/ a break from the concert.

Bread and palm trees. Yes!

Our salads at dinner.

More arugula! What is with this green in Europe?

We showed our receipt to the doorman, which he kept, and were allowed back into the event. We were able to watch the last few songs from Klingande. It was getting much busier, but we wormed our way almost to the very front of the crowd.

Klingande on deck.

We wore earplugs for most of the concert, especially because it became louder and louder. Our bodies were actually vibrating from the speakers on the stage which we were near to. We didn't notice anyone else wearing earplugs and we don't understand how they survived. Our delicate ears could not have taken the massive amounts of sound. We could hear perfectly well with the earplugs in.

Robin Schultz was on after and we inched closer to the stage and closer to the middle of the crowd. It was becoming more and more packed and cramped. People walked through the crowd with lit cigarettes and almost everyone smoked. People would not bother to avoid hitting into you and shoving you and of course no one said "excuse me" (not that you could hear it over the throbbing beats). The people at that concert were some of the rudest and most self-absorbed people we have come across in our lives. We were glad we wore closed toed shoes with thick soles because we were stepped on repeatedly, body checked, had long hair thrown in our faces, and witnessed some of the worst dance moves we've ever seen in our lives.

Robin Schultz on deck.

                                                   

It was getting packed.

David Guetta performed last. We listened to him for a while near the front in the middle of the crowd, but it was becoming too cramped and people were started to really shove and even get into fights over their "turf." We took some pictures and videos and then exited the throng at the front.

Guetta's grand entrance.

"Hello Ibiza!"

During Guetta's performance, the crowd was packed in. He announced that there were 10,000 people at the venue. It wasn't hard to believe.

We then went to the bathroom and then inched down one side of the venue and went to the back of the venue by the bar, which had more room and soothed our Canadian personal space woes. Closer to midnight, when the show ended, we inched over to nearer the exit on the other side, so that we could get out easily because we had to be back at the ship by 2:00 AM.

Guetta continues.

I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can see David Guetta at Ushuaia . . .

The crowd of 10,000 was jumping as we neared midnight.

We're hip to be square.

An acrobat performing off of a bunch of helium balloons over a crowd of 10,000, full marks for style, Guetta.

As we were standing in a taxi line-up (very long), a fellow approached us and offered us his private taxi services. We accepted his offer and he drove us back to the cruise ship quickly (we arrived at 1 AM or so).

We were exhausted, but excited as we discussed the show, standing on our huge private balcony on the ship in Ibiza, able to see the red glow of Ushuaia far in the distance.

The Ibiza fort at night.

The red glow of Ushuaia in the distance from our deck on the ship.

EDM music playing on a deck above us, floated down to us as we breathed in the warm and humid night air and discussed what it had been like being at an island rave with some totally famous EDM artists and a group of total poseurs around us.

David Guetta really puts on a show, but we’re not sure if we would ever want to go to a really big concert like that again (10,000 people were at the venue, way too many people for us reclusive Canucks). But at least we can say we did it.